By Richard J. Leider
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Additional info for Something to Live For: Finding Your Way in the Second Half of Life
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His answer makes us all laugh. Essentially, he says, one becomes an elder by living long enough. The elders in his community are those who have lived the most years. It is not exactly that one automatically becomes an elder by getting old; however, it is the case that unless one has a certain number of years under his belt, one cannot truly ascend to elderhood. Karoli tells us that, at 48, he is on the cusp of becoming an elder. He has a wife and a family, owns land and livestock, and participates to a significant degree in community decision making.
Naturally, our own religious or spiritual beliefs will inform our understanding, but we can interrogate these views on a personal level through writing 44 part 1: savoring the world and reflection. In keeping with the project of writing “letters to live for,” you might try crafting a missive to a family member or friend who has died. Doing so can have the effect of helping you to think about how death and dying informs our day-to-day living. It worked that way for Dave, anyway, when he wrote the following letter to his dad.
We were reminded of the fragility of life and the importance of being grateful for the time we have. Above all, we were reminded of the power of courageous conversations and of the critical nature of finding and using our voices, especially in the second half of life. Clearly, one of the requirements of discovering our voice is time—time to grow whole—to come face-to-face with the incomplete parts of ourselves. And to do that we must make friends with death. Death is a powerful teacher. The wisdom of life can originate from brushing up against it.