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By Melody Beattie

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As you may have heard or read, in February of 1991, three days after his twelfth birthday, my beloved Shane—so much a part of my life and work—was killed suddenly in a ski accident on the slopes at Afton Alps. I’m learning about death and life. I’ve grown and changed. I’ve watched my friends grow and change. Many of you have written to me about your growth and change. I still struggle with feeling feelings and trusting my process, my path, and my Higher Power. I still feel afraid at times. Sometimes I forget and try to control everything.

Alissa, the mother of two teenagers, worked part-time at a mental health organization when she went to a family counselor. ) She went to counseling because her oldest child, a fourteen-year-old boy, was constantly causing problems. He ran away, broke curfew, skipped school, disobeyed other family rules, and generally did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. ” She meant it. She was worried sick. Some days she was so depressed and troubled she couldn’t get out of bed. Alissa had tried everything she could think of to help this child.

I still feel afraid at times. Sometimes I forget and try to control everything. I may become obsessive, unless I catch myself. ” Some things haven’t changes, at least not a lot. ” But I’m still willing to tell you what I see, and believe. Although some things appear not to have changed, things are constantly changing. Our consciousness, as individuals and as a society, has been raised. We’ve realized that women have souls, and men have feelings. And I’ve gone deeper into my healing process than I ever intended.

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