By Alan D. Wolfelt
Explaining how multitudes of North american citizens are wearing the soreness of every kind of loss—not simply the deaths of household but additionally the lack of a wife via divorce, childrens who depart domestic, and the decline of overall healthiness as they age or get sick—this balanced source empowers mourners and grief counselors to turn grief into an experience to be learned from. Defining the forms of heartache and its consequences, this powerful consultant explores easy methods to stock, comprehend, embody, and reconcile one's accumulated sorrow via a five-phase "catch-up" mourning process. Readers will discover ways to use a religious and holistic method of research and combine the ignored loss from their pasts, to be able to pass directly to reside fuller, extra balanced lives.
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Additional resources for Living in the Shadow of the Ghosts of Your Grief: A Guide for Life, Living and Loving
Acts of John, Gnostic Scripture We’ve learned that we pack up all our unmourned grief and carry it into our future. And I’ve mentioned that our society is good at inviting us to deny and repress our pain, which causes us to carry our grief forward instead of mourning it as we encounter it. But why, if we’re born knowing how to express our grief, do most of us learn to repress or deny it? There are a number of factors, some that have been predominant in Western culture for millennia and some that have converged only in recent decades, that inhibit authentic mourning in our culture.
Some of these people do get married or attempt to have close relationships, but still keep distance in an effort to stay safe. 52 Part Three Grief-carriers often feel, consciously or subconsciously, that others will leave them. If you have been abandoned in your need to mourn by significant people in your life, you naturally feel others will also abandon you. If you have tried to trust in the past and people betrayed the trust, you come to believe no one is trustworthy. You don’t open your heart easily, and when you do, you fear others will misuse you and ultimately go away.
Psychic Numbing and Disconnection “Disconnecting from change does not recapture the past. ” — Kathleen Norris While shock and numbness are normal responses in the face of loss, some grief-carriers get so detached that they literally feel disconnected from the world around them. If this is happening to you, you may notice that you can see and hear others around you, but you can’t feel them. The result is that the world and the people in it seem unreal. You may live your days feeling you are in a daze, going through the motions yet not feeling present to others and even yourself.