By Dainne Warren
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After the neighbours left, Lester had turned his attention to Lee. How, he wanted to know, had the fire started? He looked at Lee as if he should have the answer, as though he must somehow have been the cause because he was the only one there of an age to be irresponsible enough to start a fire, even though it was Lester who had earlier rigged up a heat lamp for the shivering newborn calf. Lee could not think how he had started the fire and he said so, and then went into the pasture to search for the two panicked old horses.
Astrid and Lester’s room across the hall from his, their clothing removed from the dresser drawers with the help of neighbour women but their possessions still ordered with care on the closet shelves. The photographs still on the walls. The bed neatly made as though Astrid herself had tucked the sheets. Their bedroom reminds him more than any other part of the house that he’s alone. He wonders if he will always be alone here. He can’t imagine the person who might share his bed and help fill the rooms.
Disappointing Lester and Astrid? They’re not here to notice. Still, worry keeps him awake, listening to the sound of phantom hooves and cryptic bits of advice about tea services and navigation. His head is a reverberating drum. He rolls onto his stomach, and closes his eyes and tries to change his heart’s rhythm to match the hoof beats. Some nights, this works to put him to sleep, but tonight it doesn’t. He is too aware of the blood pumping through his veins. Even without the sheet covering him, he’s too hot.